A new year = new me, new life........................pah!

Although the date of my original post is August 2008, it's actually been two years since it's creation!

Shame on me.....LOL!

Two years is a damned long time and it has been full.....of stuff.....stuff that's got in the way of me being who I wanted to be and who I am now. Anyway, summer 2006 is when I decided I was Heathen and formed the solo Hearth of Northern Wights which has continued to this day and will do so till my death, unless my son or one of my three daughters breaks the Catholic mold their mother is shaping for them and joins the freedom that paganism offers to continue this Hearth, or invent their own.

I say "Heathen" with the greatest conviction and in doing so I should add that I follow the pantheon of Gods and Goddesses from the Northern European tradition that also encompasses the English and Anglo-Saxon differences.....it's where I'm from, see.

I had to say that because, as we all know, the term Heathen was a Xian piss-take/put down of the unconverted folk who live 'on the heath'.....or, in other words, outside the towns and cities where most of the conversions to the "new religion" took place. It is also my understanding that the word Heathen is the derogatory word used even today, for the 'poor souls' who have refused and/or rejected the claims of the 'White Christ' and his followers (Baa-aa!)

Oh.....and while we're at it.....the modern racist/fascist/prejudiced and hatred meaning of the word, stops well away from my door, is unwelcome in all it's forms and neither enters my mind nor escapes from my mouth (unless it's in utter rebuke or defense of the downtrodden!)

But, I digress...............

.....why 'new me, new life'?.....It's about bloody time, that's why! (And methinks a new look for this tired old blog while I'm at it!) Oh, ye gods!.....OK, if I must.....the wife and I have/had....(no, still are) been married for ten years and in true Catholic tradition, have four children to show for it. Various struggles, work commitments (gotta work to feed the kids!) , family arguments (almost atomic standard!), cost of living (waddya mean the church ain't gonna help?!), etc., etc., were a few of the causes that lead to the classic 'family breakdown'. Not to mention the severe depression I fell into after our fifth child died at 7 weeks old. Yeah, I named her after Freya, Goddess of sex, war and magick. She got an RC funeral, but I reckon Mother Holda is looking after her as she cares for all the souls of people who die in their infancy.

That was Yule 2006. We buried her in March '07 (after the authorities had finished with her...[3 months!?]) in a place that will become a natural woodland when it's full. Everyone buried there gets a native tree to mark the spot and to be remembered by family who remain in Midgard. So in memory of my pagan child, I chose a noble Ash, representative of Yggdrasil the Tree of Life! (Yeah, OK.....so in the two years since, I've also read that Yggdrasil could have meant to of been a mighty Yew.....we live, we learn!...LOL, but it still sticks, right!?)

So, all of these things attributed to our separation which officially happened in mid to late summer '08. I now live on my own, have the children every other weekend and every Wednesday when I take them to and collect them from school. They have settled into the situation and the Mrs and I are keeping it all amicable for their sakes.

New me, new life?

It's about bloody time.....that's why!

(I look not for sympathy, nor the old 'tut-tut-tutting' - but if this post is just meant for a written record or a moment of personal reflection...so be it!)